Life With My 90 Year Old Dad (contd.)

Saturday,9AM-ish-----
Phone rings.....
"My bowels haven't moved since Monday."

(He gets italics,just 'cause he deserves italics;I get regular font....)

"Oooooo-k,Dad."
"I took my Dulcolax at 5AM,but it isn't working."
"Are you drinking plenty of water,and walking around."
"It's too hot out to walk around.Of course,I'm drinking water."
"How much water are you drinking?"
"The same as always.2 glasses a day.How much should I be drinking?"

That noise you hear is me rolling my eyes,and hitting the floor.

"C (our cousin) bought you that pitcher so you could drink your gallon of water everyday.Use it!"
"Oooh,that's what that's for."
"Dad,you need to get up and walk more."
"It's too hot outside."
"Use the treadmills in the gym."
"I guess I could do that.We'll see."

"What should I do about my bowels?"

"Give the Dulcolax time to work,drink lots of water,and get up and move!"
"What if that doesn't work?"
"Then call me back and we'll deal with it then,ok?"
"I guess so...."

I hear nothing....................

Sunday,2-ish----
Phone rings.....
"You watching the Bucs?Isn't it terrible?"
"Yeah,we're watching-it's really bad."
"Where'd they get that quarterback?"
"They got him from Jacksonville."
"Well,he's awful.What happened to that Simms kid?"
"Dad,they got rid of Chris Simms last year."
"They did?And who's this new coach?Where'd they get him?"
"Dad,remember they fired Gruden and hired this idiot."
"This guy is terrible as a coach!!Why aren't they running Cadillac?Why do they always give up on the running game?!"

(he's really.really upset with the Bucs,by now,if you couldn't tell)

"Yeah-they suck big time.How are you feeling,today?"
"Fine,why do you ask?"
"I wondering after yesterday."
"I don't want to watch the Bucs anymore.What channel is NASCAR on?"


and people wonder why we partake in adult beverages....................

addendum-
When it was mentioned to his doctor about his major memory lapses,he(the doctor) replied."It could be the onset of Alzheimer's."
To which,Dad replied,"I'm 90 years old.I can lose my mind if I want to."

To which,I say,"Valid point."